How to Get Out of the Hurt You’re In
April 26, 2016Emotional Hurt, Faith-based, Forgiveness, Relationship Building, Restoration, Spiritual Intimacy
What do you do with the hurts in your life? When offenses, insults and abuses come, they can create wounds that short circuit our well-being. Then, as we dwell on these hurtful offenses they can affect our mental, emotional, and physical health. This weighs us down, negatively impacting all areas of life. God wants to help us forgive and be free!
Carrying grievances creates emotional stress and anxieties, which can turn into physical disease. In fact, medical science has found that festering irritations cause many of the cancers that eat away at our health. Many of our physical problems come because of our lingering anger and bitterness. They create in us an emotional illness that complicates wellness.
You may ask with the prophet: “Why has my pain been perpetual and my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?” (Jeremiah 15:18a). Are you held captive by anger and bitterness?
When we do not forgive, we insanely choose to be hurt over and over
by the ill side effects of an offense.
The Good News is: we can choose to be free from these lingering irritations. The incurable wounds and perpetual pains we live with are really destructive pits that we keep re-digging each time we get angry or feel bitterness toward an offender. Conversely, when we forgive those who have hurt us, we invite the Great Healer to come and root out of us the irritations that eat away at our emotional and physical health.
Yes, you can be released from your hurts. Rather than fall or remain victim to mistreatment, family shortcomings, and the ill after-effects of not forgiving; ask God to help you forgive. As the originator of forgiveness, He is always ready to help us learn to be forgivers.
We Forgive the Person, Not the Offense.
Forgiveness is not an effort to excuse the offense; nor is it intended to bring us some sort of restitution. The offense has happened and cannot be undone. It is important to realize that when we forgive … we forgive the person, not the offense.
In forgiving an offender, we consciously choose to trust our heavenly Father to work something good out of our hurt. Amazingly He does, in at least two ways. First, we forgive because we’d rather not carry around the ill side effects, thus we become the primary benefactor; secondly, we can be a godly influence to the offender.
God instructs us to learn to forgive one another just like He does, freely and without reserve. As God’s forgiveness is our invitation to repent and change our ways, so our forgiveness of others becomes an appealing invitation for them to repent and change their ways. Nothing convicts someone of erroneous ways like a godly response from the offended.
When we choose to have a repentant heart, God enables us to become the forgiving people He wants us to be. In fact, when we are forgivers, new offenses will not even penetrate or hurt us. Instead they will be like water on a duck’s back and just roll off. So, when offenses come, and they will; in your mind just say, “quack, quack.”
Not Forgiving Allows Hurts to Hold Us Captive.
Everyone makes mistakes; it’s part of life, a part of our growing and developing process. Sadly, some are so caught up in their error that their mistakes are habitual.
If we do not forgive, we allow hurts to hold us captive and cause us to respond to each other negatively. We do not want to be held captive to an offender’s mess by not forgiving. Disciplined forgivers do not respond to an offender by judging and condemning. We simply forgive.
To be a forgiver, we must change our fundamental way of thinking
and dismiss our natural tendency to condemn.
It’s also important to realize that our personal attitude toward people is different from that of governing authorities. The government is authorized, even by God, to guard and protect the safety of the group. We, however, are charged with guarding our own personal heart.
Two Keys to Remember
1) We receive forgiveness by repenting.
2) We maintain and walk in our forgiveness by becoming forgivers.
Oh yes, forgiving old hurts can be hard work. Deep rooted irritations from old offenses can take serious efforts over a period of time to fully uproot. This means you may have to consciously forgive the offender each time they come to mind, over and over again, until you can think of them and not feel anger or bitterness. As hard as it may seem right now, when you have fully forgiven, you will be able to sincerely pray that God will bless the offender.
What could be better than to be released from what is holding you in bondage? You can be free from the hurts that negatively impact your mental, emotional, and physical health. With God’s help, you can choose to stop re-digging those destructive pits. Why not begin now?
From The Christ Culture by Keith Carroll, Relational Gospel Founder
Resources to Help
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