I Deserve the Best! (Is There Harm in an Entitlement Mindset?)

August 9, 2016

More than ever, it seems our culture is permeated with an entitlement mindset. Folks frequently rationalize, “Well, I deserve this.”  An employee who has successfully completed a challenging assignment may say, “I deserve a raise!” When someone is going through a life challenge, it’s often said, “You deserve to be happy.” And television commercials typically reinforce this by using phrases such as “You deserve the best!”

And yet, a precursor to this mindset has been around for a few decades. If you’re old enough you may recall the song, “I Did It My Way” made popular by Frank Sinatra a few decades ago. Plus, who can forget Burger King’s slogan “Have it Your Way” from the early 1970’s. I’ve learned, after forty years, they’ve updated to a new tag line, “Be Your Way,” intended to remind people that “they can and should live how they want anytime.”

Actually, it doesn’t matter if an entitlement mindset is more pervasive now than in the past; the question I’d like to address is,

“What’s the harm in such self-focus, anyway?”

I believe it matters when we become too self-focused and lose our relational balance. God’s love flows from Him and relationally binds us to Him; and it connects us to one another.

The Bible clearly teaches us that Godly balance really matters in our daily lives.

I like to share this story that demonstrates God’s intended way of balance.

A man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, “Lord, I would like to know what heaven is like.”

The Lord then led him to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the man’s mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms. Each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, “You have seen hell.”

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew, which made the man’s mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long handled spoons, but here the people were plump and well nourished, laughing and talking.

The man said, “I don’t understand.”

“It is simple,” said the Lord, “it requires but one skill. You see, these have learned to feed each other, while the overly self-centered and greedy only think of themselves.”

A healthier way to live.

As the story so graphically shows, the healthier way to live includes a care for “me, myself, and I” that is strongly balanced by a care for others. A willingness to share with one another is a demonstration of balance. And to fully experience the Lord’s way of balance we want to realize the importance of one another.

Granted, we don’t want to assume greed is a motivating factor for those who are taking responsibility and caring for themselves. And yet, it’s so easy to slip into “self” focus; with the needs of others being blurred behind “I need” or “I deserve” or “I want.”

A spiritual view of balance.

Perhaps you view balance as it is commonly described – the cancellation of all forces by equal and opposing forces. However, in the context of spiritual values, let’s think of it differently. Godly balance receives value from each side without fully committing to one or the other side; it does not cancel opposing forces but sees value in their differences.

Positive and negative forces provide an example. We generally relate to positive as a preferred value and try to avoid negativity. Consider this perspective:

Balance appreciates the value, or worth, in each
and then demonstrates a greater value.

Godly balance is a position that dwells amid differences, between opposing forces. It appreciates the differences as contributing factors.

Applying balance in our lives:

• Could you experience better relationships by applying this perspective?
• What must change in the way you interact with co-workers, family and friends in order to see differences as positive values, rather than negative conflicts?
• Would your workplace and home be more enjoyable and productive?
• Can you see value in giving this a try?

A higher truth is often discovered when examining issues from a balance perspective rather than as opposing sides. Balance is a major ingredient in sharing ideas because it utilizes the activity of giving and receiving in order to discover a greater perspective.

God’s relational love binds us to Him and to one another, and demonstrates balance as a give and take value. While each part of the creation has distinct differences, everything is held together by a balance value that emanates from our Creator. He designed us to function as complements and life works best when we live that way. Let’s view our differences as complements and experience this healthier way of life.

How do you view balance? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below so we can learn from each other.

(Adjusted from an article originally published by Keith Carroll on LinkedIn, November 2015)

ABOUT KEITH CARROLL:

Many years ago, as a teenager, I was in an evangelistic meeting and enjoying the message until the minister said, “You don’t have to understand, just believe it.” I began to ponder why God gave us a mind that can reason and understand if He intended us to just believe. The statement just did not make good sense.

I committed myself to understanding all God desired to reveal. I was already reading the Bible daily and becoming very familiar with Scripture. A few years later, as I picked up the Bible to read, I began the practice of asking, “Lord, show me what I have not yet seen.” It has been an exciting and insightful road of discovery, one I am still enjoying.

I elaborate more on God’s Way of Balance in Chapter 6 of The Christ Culture, where I’ve compiled countless Scriptural insights about walking in the Ways of God from my personal life-changing journey. Many folks are finding it an excellent resource for group discussions and we provide a Leader’s Guide to facilitate this.

Our resources are available here on our site for your devotional reading, as well as printed and eBooks for purchase. We believe you’ll find them helpful and supportive of your growth in the Ways of God. Truly this is “A Way of Life Like No Other.“