What’s So Unsettling about Compromise?

March 8, 2016

Chances are you’ve read this Serenity Prayer penned by Reinhold Niebuhr; have seen it on a poster, or perhaps even prayed it with the best intentions. It’s one of the best known prayers of our time, and appears to be a good way to approach daily life, doesn’t it?

And yet, if we’re honest with ourselves concerning the things we’re dealing with; more often we are the ones that need to change. We may even say, “I want to change,” but what we have accepted as right and has become our norm causes change to be difficult.

We tend to be most comfortable with what we know; how it’s always been. Have you tried to initiate something new in your business, organization, or church only to hear, “But we’ve always done it this way.” The unknown, no matter how much better for us; is still a bit foreign and can be a bit scary.

My blog article in January, “And the Winner Is…” referred to the difficulty in keeping New Year’s resolutions. Yes, it’s hard work to make changes and adjust. Beyond the hard work, aren’t we also afraid of what we may have to give up? There is something unsettling about compromise.

What if we could learn to view differences as possible complements and make little adjustments to attain and maintain a healthy balance?

The ways of God teach us that our real stability
is not in any rigid ability to maintain dogmatic positions
but rather in our ability to be teachable and adjust.

During my teenage and early adult years, I traveled the country with my parents. While Dad and Mom had a message to share, we were also inclined to examine what other people believed and consider insight that we had not yet seen.

Many times we moved into an area for a few weeks and sometimes for months. I was exposed to many ministries and a variety of messages. I listened and read the materials. When I saw a teaching that enlarged my understanding and love of God, I would accept elements of it and adjust my personal belief system. Sometimes I had to dismiss elements of what I previously understood that no longer fit into my developing perspective.

I learned to adjust and change.

Webster defines dogmatism as: “stubborn or intolerant adherence to one’s opinions or prejudices.” A dogmatic person will misinterpret evidence to support a position. Conversely, when we choose to be flexible, remaining teachable and open to other perspectives, we are actually in the most stable position. This is a position of balance.

Balance vs. Compromise.

We want to understand that balance is nothing like compromise. Compromise gives up something of value for peace while it maintains a contrast either/or position.

Balance, on the other hand, is an attitude
that recognizes variables as possible complements.

We accept what harmonizes and dismiss what does not. When we see the complementary aspect of differences, something constructive is able to happen.

God designed our life on earth to be a give and take experience so we would grow into His intention. When we allow God to contribute to our lives and share with each other, everyone benefits. With a balanced perspective, we can focus on the complementary values that exist in each other’s differences, allowing us to ponder ideas and interact with one another in a more loving way.

Balance can also be demonstrated in our approach toward Scripture. We can view truths as contradictory doctrines, or we can view them as complements that support a greater understanding. A greater truth resides in a balanced approach to any Scripture. The following two versions of one verse illustrate how we can view what is said in two different ways:

Greek scholars verify this verse can be translated both ways. When we combine what may appear as different values as complementary principles, this verse provides a simple clarity that we can all understand and easily promote.

Jesus declared the Good News that we are born to share our life with God and one another! We are made to complement our heavenly Father as children and one another as siblings. By responding to His governing guidance and opening ourselves to adjusting balance, we can recognize mutual values in people, heritages, ideas, and even beliefs.

Stretching current perceptions.

Our ability to understand is limited when we fail to consider new thoughts and ideas that stretch current perceptions. When what may appear to be a contrast is allowed to complement, everyone tends to benefit. An attitude of balance keeps us positioned to receive the insight that God may yet want to reveal.

“Give me understanding, that I may observe thy law…Your testimonies are righteous forever; give me understanding that I may live.” Psalms 119:34, 144

Greater truths dwell beyond the partial understanding of where we currently are in our walk. Can you see the benefit of considering the differences in others as complements? Rather than fear compromise, I encourage you to look for the balance opportunity in those differences as you move through the remainder of your day.

And, I close by posing this question, “Is your life an amazing journey of discovery?”

It surely can be.

Resources to help

We share resources about this abundant way of living here at RelationalGospel.com. Specifically, I elaborate more on relational life with God and with others in the book The Christ Culture, where I’ve compiled countless Scriptural insights about walking in the Ways of God from my personal life-changing journey. Many folks are finding it an excellent resource for group discussions and we provide a Leader’s Guide to facilitate this.

You can find The Christ Culture; A Way of Life Like No Other shared here on our site, in print and eBook versions. We hope you’ll find them helpful and supportive of your growth in the Ways of God.

Relational Gospel – making sense of Scripture and this gift called life.